The exercise of discovering our values is one of good intentions. It is meant to help individuals, teams, corporations and even churches and faith communities clarify what is truly important to them. The hope is usually that this clarification will keep the organization or individual on track, doing what really matters. It is also meant to help in the enlistment of others to the vision, as they identify with these values, seeing them as similar to their own.
While I do not question the necessity of recognizing our values, I do wonder if we get to the “core” of these so-called core values, with an honest appraisal of what is valued most. The reason I ask is because, time and time again, I see lists of noble values that we may all affirm (honesty, integrity, tolerance, customer satisfaction, glorifying God, etc.), yet I do not see what is the real 
driving force behind those values. I question how open we really want to be about our values. I confess my own apprehension in digging that deep. Do I want to admit my values may well be things like: “needing to be liked”; “getting my own way”; “doing as little as possible and getting paid as much as possible for it”? I’m not saying those are my values (and I’m not saying they aren’t). I am saying that they may come much closer to the truth than I, or anyone else, might like to admit.
I have observed those who say they value “teamwork”, but their actions reveal otherwise. What I see looks more like the value of expediency, of getting something done quickly, regardless of whether it is fair, right, or wise in the long term. I have seen those who say they value a “family environment”, yet operate in a secretive way to further their ends. I am not saying each of these individuals or groups do not have the best of intentions, or at least believe they do. I simply call attention to the true value that may never be admitted, but is operating nonetheless.
What may be missed is the vital connection between expectations and values. I believe realizing my expectations is the best way to discern what my values are. My expectations reveal my true values. When I realize what I expect, I expose the source of the expectation. If I expect others to follow me, what does that say about my value of servant leadership? It certainly does not negate it, but it does mean I need to explore my real reasons for expecting people to line up behind me. That may be telling. It may also help me clarify my true values of leadership.
How honest are we being with our values? Want to find out? Begin with your expectations. You may be surprised.
© Brian F. Reynolds BFRspace 2011
“What do you expect? The question you need to ask!” is now available in paperback for $20 (Can) from Scarlet Cord Press (www.scarletcordpress.com).
That was a good reminder …..and thanks too for the Blanchard link.
Great post Brian! I have observed that daily decisions always reflect a dilemma and thus, we say one thing but hope for another. Hypocrisy soon reveals itself and I agree that it is our expectations that trip us up. We want “teamwork” and “family” in order to be popular and accepted, but we also want our expectations to be met (ie. have things go our own way!).